On this Labor Day holiday here in the US, let me take a moment to explain why I put in the work, but first a question …
Do you have any idea what truly motivates you to do the work you do? Do you REALLY? I thought I knew what it was the motivated me, but then I had a conversation with a friend that brought an insane amount of perspective to my world.
Up until now, if you had asked me why I do what I do, here on Fresh Rag, and on the CBP, I would have told you I do this because I want to help artists, designers and other creatives make a better life for themselves. Now I know that is not my story. In fact, it’s almost complete B.S. for me to say that and believe it. I was lying to myself this whole time and I didn’t even know it.
A Little Backstory
Excuse me for a second, but I’m going to get a little personal. See, my father, is a bit of an asshole. He’s never been much of a father to me throughout any part of my life, but he spent plenty of time trying to be in it, regardless. When push came to shove, and he saw something in me that didn’t stand with his perception of what kind of man I would be, instead of trying to show the way, he tossed me aside, not once, not twice, but four different times in my life. After the fourth time, I finally decided I wasn’t going to let him back in.
Now I have a son of my own, and I couldn’t be more proud. I am not a perfect father, but I do try my best, and I am active in his life; have been since day one. I refuse to allow anything different to happen. He is my world and I would do anything for him, and it’s important for me to be the kind of man he is proud of instead of one he can’t stand, or is ashamed to be around.
Life has a funny way of coming back around at you sometimes. Over the last few years, if my so-called father would have stepped foot onto my front porch, I probably would have tossed his ass onto the concrete and tell him to never come around again. I had no interest in sharing my life with that man even for a moment. I was bitter, angry, and borderline violent at the idea of my father showing his face here.
However, when somebody brought up about my relationship with him, and called me out on the story I had created about him and his short falls, it became clear to me that if I continue to hold him accountable for my well being, then I will never grow beyond that angst and anger. I am the only one holding myself back, not him.
If my father showed up at my door, I still do not desire to continue a relationship with him because I’m certain he will only find a reason to bail again, but I will not allow myself to be caught up in these bad feelings anymore. I forgive him for his past behavior, and if he showed up, I would apologize for mine.
The bright spot in this story is that issue with my father has helped me develop my “why”, and it turns out, helping artists is merely a byproduct. My true “why” is to be the best father I can be for my son, and husband to my wife. In order to do that I must chase down my purpose of helping motivate and inspire creatives to become bigger than life, in turn, making a better life for myself and my family.
Lifting your spirit, raising your confidence, and helping you make more from your creative endeavors is what helps me find success and achieve my own personal goals. We’re all in this together, so let’s find our why, focus on our purpose, and get to work.
Happy Labor Day, y’all.