This is a guest post by Sean Howard, a long-time friend (even though we’ve never met in person), marketing genius, photographer and dog lover. The subject of passion is cornerstone to his ideologies, and he encourages us to seek out passion, despite the potential hazards.
“Follow your passion, chart your own course, march to the beat of your own drummer, follow your dreams and find yourself. This is the litany of expressive individualism, which is still the dominant note in American culture. But, of course, this mantra misleads on nearly every front.” So said David Brooks in a New York Times article called “It’s Not About You”.
I wholeheartedly agree with him: Passion is a red herring on the path to fulfillment and true happiness. It represents a fleeting and hedonistic approach to life.
All of which leads me to my advice.
Go and follow your passion
You heard me right. Following your passion may not lead to fulfillment or true happiness, but it is worth every second of your time.
It’s likely you will have to liquidate your nest egg and everyone will say that you are being immature, but it will free you from the shackles of comfortable things.
More importantly, you will be awakened from your slumber.
Let’s say you agree and are willing to follow your passion. Almost everyone has the same question: “How do I find it?”
Think of someone you know that is very passionate and engaged in the world — someone who is continually dashing to the next adventure in their lives.
Contrary to popular wisdom, they didn’t get to where they are through some objective understanding of their own desires.
University of Toronto psychologist Jordan Peterson, who has spent his life studying purpose and how we attribute meaning to the world, insists that “passion comes after action.” This means we have to experience something before we can know if we are passionate about it. Then we listen to see if a spark flares up. If so, we have found something we are passionate about.
Following our passion is simply doing this over and over, exposing ourselves to new experiences and then taking the next step towards anything that excites, tantalizes or calls to us.
But once the shine of the “new” wanes, there remains an emptiness. This is what David Brooks was warning us about.
Some people call it a voice, some a nagging feeling, but the message is always the same. It is the realization that something vital is missing from your life.
I know because I have chased passion for my entire life. And I continue to chase it.
I’ve been an animator, professional juggler, strategist, gaffer, marketer, information architect, photographer, dog trainer, hacker, teacher, and podcast host. Each venture offered wonderful new challenges and opportunities, but I was unable to shake this feeling that something was missing.
Like most people, I wanted pleasure, recognition and approval.
Except that these are just distractions.
“Most successful young people don’t look inside and then plan a life,” writes David Brooks. “They look outside and find a problem, which summons their life. A relative suffers from Alzheimer’s and a young woman feels called to help cure that disease. A young man works under a miserable boss and must develop management skills so his department can function. Another young woman finds herself confronted by an opportunity she never thought of in a job category she never imagined. This wasn’t in her plans, but this is where she can make her contribution.”
A lifetime of following my passion didn’t lead me to fulfillment or enlightenment.
So why am I recommending it to you?
Because it gave me the confidence to meet and overcome any challenge.
It also woke me up. It prepared me to start asking the really hard questions.
Who can I help?
What is the work that is truly worth doing?
What, larger than myself, am I here to serve?
“Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent.” — Parker J. Palmer, educator and activist
Has a passion project every left you unfulfilled? Was it still worth doing?
Sean continues to wear too many hats and has too many projects on the go at any one time. You can learn about his photography at seanhoward.ca, his Most Passionate project at mostpassionate.ca and his dog business at upwithpup.com.
The greatest gifts in this noisy world come not from folks who’ve got answers, but those who’ve got questions. You never cease to inspire me, Sean.
I’m convinced that life is a process. There’s no “arriving” (except in a temporary way). And experiences don’t automatically come with meaning. It is up to US to give meaning to our experiences, both positive and negative.
I rarely admit to myself that a passion project was simply a wrong turn. Often it’s because I tend to suspect those empty moments as being “the guardian at the gate” I’ve gone on about on my own blog — a testing point to push past, where the real treasures lie.
But the dark side of that is that I push on when really some things need to just end, and I need to get better at spotting those.
Penina, have you ever read The Gap by Seth Godin? It addresses that very subject of when to push through and when to quit. It’s a powerful book with a great message.
Thanks, Dave,
I haven’t. I love reading Seth, so I will dig it up. This is obviously a hot point for me!
Dave,
Do you mean The Dip?
You’re right, yes. That’s the one.
To anyone who hasn’t read Penina’s post on “the guardian at the gate”, I highly recommend you do so. It is one of my top 10 favorite posts of all time. Here is the link.
http://fantastic-machine.com/penina/?p=27
I can SO relate to the pushing through on something that is over, or should be over. Oy.
I have also shared your desire to get better spotting when to stop pushing. If I had to choose between pushing at the risk of pushing too far, versus never pushing enough, I would always err on the side of pushing!
I smell a follow-up post.
Wowee, Sean!
I saw this reply yesterday but was on mobile devices… and needed time to process your lovely comment. Thank you!
And I agree about choosing to err on the side of pushing. The potential rewards are so great that it seems worth the risks. (Dave, follow-up posts all around!) I have often chided myself for being so bullheaded at times like that. It’s never occurred to me that the motivator is what I would call (right now, thinking about it this way for the first time) Profound and Priceless.
Awhile ago, I had the privilege of working on a creative project with a group that was at least 80% hobbyists. One of the most amazing feelings from that experience was of supporting them ALL to cross the threshold to a new accomplishment (you can read about it here). Is this how a midwife feels?
ok, so here’s a thought: I’m involved in a much less “glamorous” (though still awesome) startup project, and it’s been going on for waaaaay longer than the usual undertaking. As we hit bumps and choose to push through, how to balance the necessary bullheaded persistence with that just-as-necessary passionate vision? At this point, I’d add that I’m learning the value of occasional (temporary) abdication in order to refuel…
This post got me thinking: does following your passion have to be an all-or-nothing pursuit? I’m asking because I’ve definitely tried that approach and boy was it ever exhilarating…and stressful…! Now I’m trying to figure out if I can follow a passion in a different way. i.e.
What I do agree with is that following your passion intensely can really wake you up. It can wake you up to who you are, or who you are not. I realized in one recent attempt to follow my passion that what I thought was my passion (opening an art gallery) was not really what I was passionate about (being creative, being in a visually stimulating environment, connecting to artists and their stories).
I’m glad you found that following your passion gave you confidence – I experienced the exact same thing. I feel like I can tackle anything my heart or mind is set on.
I’m glad you mentioned that people often react to following your passion as being “crazy” or “immature”. Why do people feel that maturity is about disconnecting yourself from your spirit?
Lots of good thoughts in this post – thanks for sharing.
Amrita, I firmly believe that the “crazy” or “immature” comments from others come from a place of fear. They aren’t comfortable seeing someone pursue their passion because it terrifies them to step outside of their comfort zone. Let the haters hate. We’re here to get shit done!
Hi Amrita!
I have to say this is a little daunting. Two of the smartest women I know (and respect) both chose to comment on my post, and in non-trivial ways.
So thank you for my new complex around blog comments.
You open with a great question. I can think of no reason why passion must be experienced only in an all-or-nothing pursuit. That said, it is the only form of passion I can comment on as I tend to err on the side of all-or-nothing, as you no doubt know.
As to your latter question, I have spent a lot of time wondering why people aren’t more supportive of their friends following their passion or purpose. I think it is fear combined with a desire to protect the individual from failure. We see failure as a horrific thing in our society.
I am trying to dig up a quote by Brené Brown that deals with this quite directly. It’s about a father that approached her and told her that she needed to expand her research to deal with men and not just women, because his daughters couldn’t handle seeing him fall from his white horse and fail at anything in life.
I think you would LOVE this interview of her on “vulnerability”, now that I think about it. http://www.onbeing.org/program/brene-brown-on-vulnerability/4928
Sean
Lovely post, Sean. I too have passion for many things..your little list made me smile. I guess my big passion is a passion to KNOW. This works well in some ways but can also cause a glut of questions that I somehow do not always have access to answers for. I get a bit lost on the why, where and how of things that catch my interest or get distracted by one thing before I can say I’m really done with the previous one. But I must say, this still makes me happy. It makes me notice things, it makes me observant and it makes the world engaging, even when I choose not to actively engage in the world.
Keep on keeping on. All things are interesting….
And a lovely comment in answer to it. Thank you, Maggi.
I smiled as I read your thoughts. You should write more. Your words carried me to a wonderful place. Or if you do write more, please point me to where to read it!