In the answer to todays Momentum Challenge, I’m putting forth an admission that I’ve been holding back on for a few weeks now, but before I begin, I want to take issue with the assignment.
The question was put to us as, “Do Something That Deliciously Scares You”, and this is where I call on the powers of Stephen King to eradicate the excessive use of adverbs. Not only is the world “deliciously” completely unnecessary in this circumstance, it’s almost as if the writer is trying to force the woo woo issue to the nth degree. I realize the gentlemen who put this project together lean more toward the esoteric, and I don’t say that with any kind of malicious attitude, but it’s not the kind of person I am, and I tend to shy away from the woo woo, especially when it’s shoved in my face.
That said, I am answering the call, but I won’t lie, I had trouble coming up with something that I could do today that would scare me. I’ve walked through a lot of fire lately, so my feet have calloused over and it takes a little bit more to scare me. I do have things coming down the pipe that are scary, but they’re not something I can launch into today.
There is one thing I’ve been sitting on—an announcement. I figured I was just procrastinating on it, but under deeper scrutiny, it does feel like I have been fearful of making the announcement. So here goes…
I’m putting the Fresh Jam Show on a shelf.
For anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, I was looking to start an art fair here in Los Angeles as some sort of extension of Fresh Rag. I wanted to create a show that was art only, but in a much different format than anything that I had seen before. It’s a good idea, and something I may go after again later on, but as I went through the ministrations of getting the show assembled, I realized I did not have the passion for the show as much as I had for other aspects. Because I only have a limited capacity for getting a certain amount of work accomplished in a given day, I have to reserve my energy for things that inspire me.
Something had to go.
The reason I didn’t want to make this decision is because I put such a strong emphasis on it when I first launched. I was gung-ho for a good few months, and then the reality of the work in it got in the way. I’ve talked about it on my podcast, mentioned in in my newsletter, and told numerous friends and colleagues. I didnt’ want to make the announcement of killing off the show because I was worried I would let people down, and more pathetic, I was worried what people might think.
Again, this fear thing is all manufactured and complete bullshit. We put these walls up ourselves, and we create false perceptions about what others are going to say, think, or do when we do change direction, fail or give up.
I may disappoint a few by not hosting the show, and I know there are going to be a few “I told you so” comments, either out loud or under breath, but if I kept pushing forward, I believe in my heart, I would have compromised other aspects of what I am doing, and that was worth protecting far more than the show itself.
The conversation of the show is not done forever. I may bring it back, but only when I feel like I am truly ready for it. Now is not that time, but it could happen.
So, yeah, scary to say, but not really.
“Do one thing everyday that scares you” – Eleanor Roosevelt
That is one of my most favorite quotes of all time, so this challenge definitely worthwhile. Now I challenge you in return. What are you going to do today that scares you and pushes you forward? Tell us in the comments below.